再び告知（別件） “senryō toiu kisei—sengo bungaku saikentō no shiza” hirokazu toeda (waseda university) presentation in japanese
complexgeometries ’０９－１０a/w collection “...between good and evil ” では、 理想的なモラルに関しての葛藤や共存を考察しています
Messiah part 3 ~day 10 - after tears~
takuto makes scratch ten. 'the worst awakening. i noticed i had been crying in my sleep when i rose from the bed.' takuto: ryouta...--- 'i was seen by ryouta. haishima violating me in that way.' takuto: *sobbing* 'the death of my parents crossed my mind and tears overflowed again. torn bodies. scattered blood. and the black mantle that waved in the snow--' takuto: why? *sobbing* 'it was not possible to cling to ryouta no matter how painful i feel. ryouta might surely despise me this time.' 'my tears did not stop. i was thinking that my mind was broken and it wasn't necessary to think about it.' *knocking* veronica: takuto-sama's food is prepared. 'it was veronica's voice. it was time for dinner already.' takuto: ...don't need it. veronica: you did not eat breakfast either. the way things are going, it is bad for your body. takuto (yelling): i said i don't need it! veronica: ... takuto: ah... 'after i shouted, i regretted it intensely.' veronica: i must be going. takuto: veronica...! *sheets rustling* 'springing to my feet, i ran from the bed to the door.' *door opening* takuto: veronica...? 'however, veronica wasn't there any longer. only the dim, quiet passage existed.' takuto: i...am the worst guy on earth. veronica has nothing to do with it... 'i collapses there. tears flowed again.' day 11 - loss takuto makes scratch eleven. 'i was not able to leave my room. meeting someone---i was scared to go out of my room to meet ryouta or haishima. veronica had brought breakfast even though i had snarled yesterday. veronica only narrowed her eyes in my apology. i was not able to eat bread and scrambled eggs any longer and instead asked for water, juice, tea and fruit. i was awfully thirsty.' takuto: (ryouta...) 'i understood it was useless even if i shut myself in my room. while haishima is here, ryouta has the possibility to use violence again.' 'i thought so while peeling off the skin of the apple veronica brought.' takuto: did haishima really kill papa and mama? 'i desperately tried to forgetthe spectable that i'd seen at that time. ' takuto: (will ryouta come for dinner tonight?) 'i put the fruits knife on the cart.' (black screen) 'it was time for dinner and veronica came. i hesitated as i went out of the room.' (dining room - night) ryouta (wide-eyed): takuto... i enter the dining room. no one spoke since then. ryouta and i stood in heavy silence for a while. i wanted to run away form this place. though i had to speak. i only wanted ryouta to understand me. takuto: ryouta...that...the night before... 'i trembled as soon as i opened my mouth.' ryouta: ... takuto: ...sorry. ryouta: ...!? 'ryouta sucked in a breath. and his expression changed to a bad mood.' takuto: ...ryouta? ryouta: why are you apologizing? takuto: ...at that time... ryouta: at that time? because i saw what you were doing...is that the reason you're apologizing? takuto: ryouta!? ryouta: you apologize with what!? in the apology, my desire for takuto was overlooked? takuto: ...!? ryouta: am i wrong, takuto? takuto: ryouta!? ryouta (angry): did you not resist at all?! takuto: ...!? 'my legs began to tremble.' ryouta pouts
ryouta: i envy that fellow... takuto: ...eh? ryouta: ...because with takuto, it is possible to do those kind of things. *heartbeat / red* takuto: ryouta....? 'i felt dizzy. i did not want to believe what i heard now.' ryouta: is it useless between takuto and me? *heartbeat / red* takuto: ...---!? 'i wanted to shut ryouta's mouth.' ryouta: for instance, holding me in your mouth... takuto (sad): ...!!?? *heartbeat / red* ryouta: is it too impossible for me? you do it only to him.
*heartbeat / red and glass shatters*